


New Perspective

by Boat_Nectar1



Series: All At Once, Again [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, and then also forced to fix it, i was forced to write this angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 04:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13450725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boat_Nectar1/pseuds/Boat_Nectar1
Summary: Pieces of Lup's recovery from Taako and Barry's view.





	New Perspective

**Author's Note:**

  * For [malevolentmango](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentmango/gifts), [ToTillAGarden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToTillAGarden/gifts), [CCs_World](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCs_World/gifts).



> Building off of my fic Feeling New. I mean you don't haaave to read it to read this, but I would recommend that you do.  
> Thanks to the TAZ writer's discord, particularly the Edward and Lydia of Fic Wonderland for the angst prompt. And thanks to my lovely partner, Cas, for shouting "FIX IT" until I added a happy ending.

Barry should’ve seen the signs. He should’ve  _ known _ something was wrong and it is absolutely killing him. It’s not like he hadn’t noticed the scars on Lup’s arms before, but he never paid it much attention anymore. That was the past. Now, she’s home. She hadn’t had any incidents like that since before he even met her for Istus’s sake!

But, here he is. Sitting next to his wife on the kitchen floor as she sobs against his side. He wants so desperately to put his arms around her, to hold her tight and never lose her again, but he’s so afraid that might be too far; so afraid he’ll hurt the love of his life with a mere hug.

He put the knives away as soon as he saw her. There was hardly any blood, just little scratches, so that it wouldn’t scar. She really thought he wouldn’t notice. And she was almost right. And that thought eats away at Barry’s mind, that he didn’t do something sooner. That he let this happen.

His own tears press at the back of his eyes, but he forces them back. He dares to put an arm around her shoulder. She flinches, he starts to pull away, but she grabs his hand, keeping him there.

“Lup,” he begins, “I’m not upset. I… I could never be, but… you can’t- this…”

“It was too much, Barry.” She’s still crying against him, her tears hot as they seep into the gentle fabric of his sleep shirt. “I just… I wanted to focus myself and it… it  _ works _ and I know I shouldn’t but-“ She cuts herself off, not knowing where she ever intended to go.

Barry sighs, gripping her shoulder, hoping that’s enough to keep her from ever slipping away. He wants to say so much. He wants to  _ know _ what to say to stop this from ever happening again. But he doesn’t. And his mind keeps screaming that it’s all his fault. That he could have stopped this. “I know,” is all he can bring himself to say. “I know.”

Taako never enjoys letting his emotions show and hardly sees any benefit to it: now not being an exception. He sits across the table from Lup that morning, sipping a glass of orange juice. He had claimed to be out of champagne for mimosas, but even if it were true, it wouldn’t be much of an obstacle for him. Rather, he just wanted to be careful with his sister in her current state: not that he’d easily let that show.

Lup sips slowly at her own, more for show than actually drinking. She looks a thousand times better than she did yesterday. Almost as if she recovered entirely overnight. Her skin is clear and healthy looking, the dark circles under her eyes are entirely gone, her hair is washed and combed neatly, it even looks as though she’s put a bit of makeup on, a habit she never practiced before. It’s all a dead giveaway.

“So how’s about you take the glamour off?” Taako suggests.

“Not using one,” Lup insists.

“Come on now, Lulu. Even being the ugly twin I got mine off around you.” And he always did. Lup was the one person Taako could always fully trust. He feels entirely safe to have his guard down around her: a rarity for him. The fact that she would do otherwise means something is seriously wrong. And it breaks his heart.

Lup sighs, but doesn’t yet comply. “What gave it away?”

The scars are gone. “I’m smart. Now, come on. It’s only  _ polite _ .”

Lup lowers her head and scoots the drink across the table, not even thirsty anymore. She bites her lip and lets the glamour fade, not even wanting to look up at her brother.

The difference is immediate and breaks Taako completely. Her eyes are tired, incredibly so. She didn’t sleep nor meditate last night. Maybe not even for the past few days. The usual scars are back and  _ oh, are those new? _ He doesn’t dare mention it but he could easily cry from this observation alone. Her normally dark skin has gone sickeningly pale. She looks fragile. Weak. He wonders when was the last time she really ate and slept and took care of herself.

But saying that won’t help. And he knows it.

“There. Now that’s much better.” Taako sits back in his chair. He takes another drink.

Barry wakes up suddenly. His heart beats as fast as a hummingbird’s, but immensely harder in his chest. He breathes quickly and the pit of his stomach feels like he just fell from some great height. Something is wrong. He just knows it.

He doesn’t know what or where or how, but some part of Barry is screaming that something has gone horribly wrong. He forces his eyes open. He sees Lup sleeping next to him I’m not much more than her underwear, still not touching him. Her chest rises and falls slowly.  Finally, she’s sleeping. She shivers. She seems alive (more or less) and well, if a bit cold. He pulls a blanket up over her and carefully climbs out of bed.

Barry spends no less than half an hour searching the entirety of their home. Nobody else is there. Nothing is out of place. There’s not a single thing to be suspicious of, but he just  _ knew _ , it felt so real and  _ terrifying _ and-

He sighs. “I must be losing it.” He shakes his head, suddenly ashamed to be so lost in his own mind as his wife has so much of her own problems going on.

He climbs back upstairs and to their room. As he slowly opens the door, he hears Lup shift and quietly speak, “Barry?”

He steps toward her, forcing a gentle smile. “Go back to sleep, hon. You need it.”

She shakes her head, eyes still closed in her exhaustion. “Come back to bed.

Barry nods as if she could see and climbs back into bed, careful to leave space between them.

But, instead, Lup moves lazily towards Barry, wrapping her arms around him tight and fitting her head into the crook of his neck. She rubs his back with one hand and speaks gently, only half awake, “It’s okay, babe. It’s alright.”

And he knows it will be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it! If so, feel free to leave kudos and/or comments. Please?


End file.
